What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
