She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
