I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
