i was born a porn star she said
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
