Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize