I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
