You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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