At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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