my mouth tastes like poor choices
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This is my gift to your gina
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
