he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
