It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
