So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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