I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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