i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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