hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
