eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
