I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
