Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
