Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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