Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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