so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He passed out mid-signature
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize