How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
