Where is the hickey?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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