why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize