Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
