remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
