Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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