You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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