dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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