STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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