It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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