So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
