One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
