So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you win again, gameday.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
