u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
