The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
