I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
