I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
