there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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