I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
