He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
