Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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