And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize