What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
YAS. BRING CRAB.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
