Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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