So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
