just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
