Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
