3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
