lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize