I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
