do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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