Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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