I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
