He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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