He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
