I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
