please come you make the beer taste better
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
