I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
it was like eating out sand paper
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
