have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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