Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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