You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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