Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
