you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
