Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
