she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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