Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
